The happiest day in your life? Not for everyone. Sometimes a wedding is a nightmarish start to a horror movie that brings even more suffering. What can I do to avoid embarrassment, pain, and problems? Nothing simpler:just do not go to the wedding carpet!
As always, all items in the TOP10 list are based on our interesting articles. This time we have selected ten texts in which the idea of marriage, wedding and marriage is, to put it mildly, not very encouraging. If you want to read more texts on matters of the heart, bed and complicated love setups, please visit HERE.
Before you decide to get married, think about…
10. Your family may hold you against choosing a partner
In the early 1930s, Prince of Wales Edward fell in love with a Mrs. Simpson. Everything would be fine if it weren't for the fact that Wallis Simpson was divorced and married . The distinguished and strict etiquette of the royal family could in no way accept such a woman.
For a beloved woman, Edward faced the world and family. Pictured is Edward and Wallis in Kitzbühel, Austria, in February 1935.
In the end, Edward abdicated after less than a year of reign, just to be able to marry his sweetheart who had since divorced again.
After their abdication, Edward and Wallis experienced nothing but unpleasantness and affronts on the part of the royal family, the government of Great Britain and its dominions and former friends. When the couple finally decided to get married, hardly anyone attended!
9. They will gossip about your failed marriage for ages
Various historians competed in describing how unhappy Jadwiga Andegaweńska was in the forced, political relationship with Jagiełło . The spouses were to be completely mismatched, and the difference in age and culture would preclude a happy life.
Was Lithuania's baptism worthy of a failed marriage and a broken heart? Or maybe the relationship between Jagiełło and Jadwiga was not as unhappy as everyone thinks?
There was also talk of Jadwiga's great, unfulfilled love for Wilhelm Habsburg . One of the stories even tells about the queen, who, with an ax in her hand, tried to break through the gates of the castle and then escape with her "beloved" to Silesia ...
Jagiełło was not able to give Jadwiga what a woman expects in a marriage . Not everyone shares this view. Professor Jarosław Nikodem suggested that Jadwiga and Jagiełło could have much more than one might think. So what, since for centuries it was widely believed that the marriage of the royal couple was completely unsuccessful (read more about it) .
8. A wedding ceremony may turn out to be a complete flop
On May 30, 1867, an unusual wedding was celebrated in Turin. Amadeus, the younger son of Victor Emmanuel II, ruler of the Kingdom of Italy, which had only been established six years earlier, married Maria Victoria dal Pozzo della Cisterna, heiress to an enormous fortune.
The great happy family of the King of Italy ... who pretends that at the end of May 1867 nothing of the sort happened. In this 1870 drawing, Amadeus (with a beard) is standing on his father's left, with Maria Wiktoria sitting next to him in a chair with their firstborn son at a dress (source:public domain).
The king preferred the hand of a German princess for his son, but that pecunia non olet , accepted the choice of his offspring. The magnificent ceremony, sealing the - for many scandalous - alliance between the crown and money, turned into a series of tragedies. In short, the corpse was littered thickly.
First the bridesmaid hanged herself . Then the mounted officer, who was tasked with escorting the merry procession, suffered a sunstroke. The caretaker who missed the moment when the procession arrived, guilt led to suicide. And that was just the beginning ...
7. Everyone will start asking, "When is the baby?"
Better to pray and take some herbs or eat potatoes and rub your body with goat fat? Or maybe it's worth checking if your husband has a francy? In the Renaissance, spouses who were thirsty for a child had to take many things into account ...
To get pregnant, Renaissance ladies were ready for anything…
The more that having a descendant in some cases was a matter not only for the bride and groom. Barbara Radziwiłłówna, trying to have a child with Zygmunt August, had infusions, ointments and bags with herbs to put in the vagina.
The situation was certainly not improved by the entire court awaiting the heir to the throne. The mother-in-law's sacramental question "When will I get a grandson?" must have exerted additional pressure… (read more about this) .
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6. Your wedding night can turn out to be a nightmare. Both for her…
Only a few decades ago, doctors had to urge gentlemen to be gentle with their chosen one during their wedding night. Every publication from the interwar period that touched on this issue suggested that the statistical wife was not up to the task.
Young women were afraid of sex on their wedding night. The role of the man was to overcome his wife's fears. Handbooks from the 1930s suggest that few rose to the occasion (source:public domain).
Admittedly, the husband is almost always unable to cope with this difficult and delicate role. He sets about fulfilling his marriage duty awkwardly, surly, dispassionately as if he only wanted to satisfy his dingy lust - written.
No wonder that our great-grandmothers could have a negative connotation of sex. However, the gentlemen explained it in their own way - it was claimed that up to 50 percent. female representatives are so-called cold women, so the fault is absolutely not on the side of ignorant brutes ... (read more on this topic).
5. … And for him
Gentlemen, can you imagine that wedding guests are watching you during an intimate night with your loved one? Even if they were to come out at the "climax", the foreplay under the fire of eyewitnesses of many witnesses could be mercilessly dismayed.
Ruby jokes in the alcove and promiscuous poems ... this is how the wedding guests tried to add vigor to the bride and groom. Fragment of Jan Matejko's painting "The Suspension of the Sigismund Bell".
However, this was the wedding nights of modern Polish rulers. The valets were carrying trays of sweets and decanters of wine into the bedroom. The gathered prayer dignitaries quickly moved on to coarse and indiscriminate comments.
The atmosphere was often complemented by special poetry competitions held on the same day. For example, before the first night of Bona and Zygmunt Stary, a certain Kasper Ursinus delivered a poem in which Mars indulged in a "love idyll" with Venera. As if that was not enough, during a passionate relationship the god of war allegedly shouted praises to the Polish monarch.
4. Woman! You will lose your identity!
Today some ladies hesitate to take their husband's surname. In the Middle Ages, they would be ordered to change their name too!
The example came from the very top, that is, from the Byzantine Empire. German medievalist Gertrud Thoma established that the names were lost at least 12 women who joined the imperial family by the end of the 12th century . It is no coincidence that Irene, Anna, Helen, Marie and Theophano still sat on the Byzantine throne.
The daughter of Bolesław Chrobry, known only as the German Regelinda, probably also lost her name (photo:Linsengericht; license CC BY-SA 3.0).
Our Polish princesses were particularly affected. The daughter of Mieszko II Gertrude in Rus was renamed Olisawa. The Lower Lusatian Margrave Dytryk made Ludgarda out of his daughter Bolesław Krzywousty, even though the girl was christened Dobroniega (after her grandmother, Maria Dobroniega).
A century earlier, Margrave Meissen Herman did the same. History did not remember the Slavic name of his daughter Bolesław Chrobry at all. We only know her as the German Regelinda (read more about that).
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3. If you get sick of marriage, divorce can be very humiliating…
Anna Kliwijska did not like Henryk VIII at the first meeting. She wasn't really a beauty. She looked thirty (twenty-four) with a long nose and smallpox beaks. And most importantly, she dared not recognize him when, wanting to surprise her, he came to his future wife in disguise.
They were not allowed to live long or happily ... And it was because of the exorbitant expectations of the king. Portraits of Henry VIII by Hans Holbein and Anna by Bartholomäus Bruyn the Elder from around 1540 (source:public domain).
The king was dramatically looking for a way to avoid a wedding, but it eventually came to a sacrament. The honeymoon turned out to be a disaster. Anna seemed unattractive to Henryk, disgusted him . He considered her not very firm breasts and belly to be a sign of an earlier loss of virginity . The king claimed that his new spouse smelled unpleasant odors from the front and back .
When Henryk was dizzy with Katarzyna Howard, he decided to get a divorce. First, he denied that the marriage was consummated. Anna was devastated. Her pain eased as she found out that the king was going to treat her like a… sister! (read more about it).
2. Really, soooooo humiliating…
What would you do, ladies, if, after twelve years of marriage, your husband said he wants a divorce because you are… too fat? This was the reason for their separation given in 1092 by King Philip I, grandson of Robert the Pious. He ordered his wife Berta to be locked up in Montreuil-sur-Mer Castle.
Philip I looked at his first wife with a critical eye. Was she already overweight in his eyes? (source:public domain)
Soon after, he visited Count Anjou, Fulk the Grim, and his wife, Bertrada. Philip I fell in love with an Eugene countess who, as the French historian Régine Pernoud put it, allowed him to graciously kidnap her . He married her, doubly bigamic, and lived to see a church curse.
Perhaps the Pope's condemnation of Philip had brought Berta grim satisfaction, but it did not improve her situation. And that's not the only such story… (read more about it) .
1. And when divorce is not an option, it can instinct a spouse's murderous instincts
Four hundred years ago, the chances of marrying a man you love weren't great. For women whose desperation was reaching its zenith, and moral resistance was drastically reduced, poison was a tempting alternative to an unwanted marriage ...
Preparing poisons for many of the ladies in Tofana and Spara's circle ended up in a noose. John William Waterhouse's painting of Circe, often mistakenly thought of as Giulia Tofana's portrait (source:public domain).
Datura, monkshood and nightshade were in motion . However, arsenic made the greatest career. This real king of poisons, known since antiquity, was quite easily available :It was sold as mouse or rat poison. Before 1815, there were no restrictions on the sale of this substance in England.
The price was also affordable, especially since a small amount of poison could lead to death. Few of the sellers asked customers what the purchased product would be used for ... (read more about this) .