History of Europe

Semiramis, the queen who ended a revolt thanks to her sensuality

Semiramis She was very pretty or, at least, that's what her grandmother and Diodorus of Sicily, claimed. the 1st century Greek historian. As if that were not enough, she was one of the most fascinating queens in history. Well, to be frank, most of what is known about her is legend. When Diodorus of Sicily told us about her life and her miracles, he added too many incredible elements to the narrative. Thus, for example, he makes her the daughter of a goddess. Other elements of her biography are more credible, especially considering that today it is thought that the beautiful Semiramis may have been the Assyrian Sammuramat , wife of Shanshi-Adad V . Like the mythical queen, she was regent in her son's youth, a rare case in the history of Assyria, and important historical events are recognized, such as the beginning of the works of the ziggurat of Babylon and its hanging gardens.

In the legend of Diodorus of Sicily the girl is very beautiful, as we have said, full of virtues and imaginative. Her rise in life is meteoric, going from being a waif to marrying a royal official and later becoming the king's wife, and not only using her feminine charms, but an exceptional intelligence that allows her to help win a battle. She will eventually become regent, after quickly divorcing her from her better half (she made him get out of the way, although the method is not very clear), she ended up becoming absolute monarch of the Empire Assyrian. Already on her throne, she describes her as a great builder of roads, palaces, gardens and fortresses, which perhaps has its origin in the real Sammuramat and her public works program. She is even recognized as a successful fashion designer because, apparently, she would have been the one who invented a style that united male and female garments, and that would become common in the Assyrian Empire.

Legendary and real elements aside, and ignoring the typical series of battles, palace conspiracies and stabbings in the back that are common in mythical biographies, one of the facts that most strikes us is that Semiramis she was able to put down urban riots without much effort. Apparently, on a certain occasion, and possibly because of the exaggerated public works program that would have put the treasury in debt, the people of Babylon decided to take to the streets. The uprising, according to Diodorus, began with the first rays of the sun, and furious citizens poured into the Royal Palace, entering the courtyards and confronting the guard. The queen, who had just gotten up and was being combed by her maids, appeared on the balcony. Now let's imagine the scene, which is worthy of a Hollywood movie. In the courtyard we have hundreds of extras handing out cakes to each other, and suddenly the queen comes out on the balcony barely dressed in a semi-transparent nightgown that leaves very little to the imagination (you can stuff the nightgown with whatever actress you want, but I Irina Shayk comes to mind in Hercules or Angelina Jolie in Alexander the Great ). The stunned crowd stares completely in awe for a while, and then, without even apologizing to the poor bodyguards who are going to spend a fortune on band-aids, bandages, betadine and arnica, they scamper back into town. Some to catch up on lost sleep and others, possibly, to look for an open tavern where they can describe the spectacle to the patrons in great anatomical detail. And the queen? Semiramis, after verifying that the thing was over, went back into her room and, without flinching, continued discussing her affairs with the hairdresser.

There is no doubt that the girl must have been pretty. But I wonder, especially in these times of demonstrations and gag laws:would there be any politician today capable of putting an end to a revolt in such a glamorous way? After considering the matter for a long time… I am afraid, unfortunately, that it will not.

Contributed by Joshua BedwyR