Seeing the popes who occupied the throne of Saint Peter for much of the Middle Ages, one might wonder if, when they were elected, the Almighty was looking the other way or confused with other issues, because what a troop. In fact, the curia itself was aware of the characters who had worn the fisherman's sandals, and I refer to the evidence... While Napoleon Bonaparte and Cardinal Ercole Consalvi , Secretary of State of Pope Pius VI, were negotiating the bases of a new concordat between the Holy See and France, they had a small dialectical confrontation and the emperor even said I am going to destroy your Church! The Cardinal's response is priceless...
Will not be able! We have been trying for centuries, and we have not been able to
Here are some examples of these little angels…
1.- In the history of the papacy, the period between the appointment of Sergius III in 904 and the death of John XII in 964 is called Saeculum Obscurum (Dark Ages) or Pornocracy, as he collected in his Ecclesiastical Annals the 16th-century cardinal and historian Cesare Baronio. During this period the Popes were under the influence of two prostitutes:Theodora and Mazoria , mother and daughter.
After the death of Leo V, and supported by the Spoleto family and his cousin Theophylact, senator and magister militum of Rome, Sergius III was elected as the new pope. As a reward, Theophylact was named vestararius (the one who controlled the finances) and later consul. His wife Teodora, named senatrix from Rome, she also supported the new Pope… but from her bed, where she helped him make the most important decisions. At the age of 15, and following in the footsteps of her mother, Mazoria also passed through the bed of the same father with whom she even had a son, Juan. After the death of Sergio III, Theodora would appoint the following three Popes:Anastatius III (911-913), Lando (died after 6 months) and John X in 914. Two years later Theodora died and Mazoria took over.
In addition to Juan, Mazoria had another son, Alberic II, with Alberic I of the Spoletos, her first husband. Her disagreements with John X came soon after and using the power of her second husband, Guy of Tuscany, she imprisoned him and died under mysterious circumstances while in prison. Like her mother did, she chose the next three popes:Leo VI (for seven months in 928), Stephen VII (928-931) and John XI (931-935), the son she had had with him. Pope Sergius III. He, granting her absolute power, named her Senatrix Patricia Romanorum . After the death of her second husband, Mazoria tried to continue gaining power by marrying Hugo, King of Italy, but there was a problem... her son Alberic II led the opposition to that wedding. Alberic II assumed the title of prince and senator of the Romans and ruled Rome. On the day of his mother's betrothal to King Hugo, he had her arrested and locked up until his death in 936. The son assumed the role of the mother and continued to choose popes until in 955 he appointed his own son, and therefore grandson of Mazoria and great-grandson of Theodora, John XII who will occupy the throne of Saint Peter until 964. Referring to these years, Liutprando, bishop of Cremona, wrote:
Hunting on horses in gold trappings, they feasted richly with the dancers when the hunt was over, and retired with these shameless whores to beds with silk sheets and gold covers and embroidery. All Roman bishops were married, and their wives made silk garments from the sacred vestments.
2.- From the beginning of the pontificate of John XII, elected at just 18 years old, she had a love-hate relationship with Emperor Otto I in which they involved third parties at their convenience. Otto I, fed up with her ups and downs, planted himself in Rome urging her to stop playing with him and to change her licentious and depraved behavior. And as cowards often do… he fled. Faced with this situation, Otto I convened a synod to judge the Pope in absentia for accusations of adultery, murder, perjury, simony (purchase or sale of ecclesiastical positions, sacraments, relics, etc.) and everything else you want to add. The Pope replied with a letter in which he said:
I, as Pope, am only subject to the judgment of God. I excommunicate all those present… [how helpful this excommunication was]
He was convicted on all counts and it was decided to appoint Leo VIII as the new pope. Incomprehensibly, John XII still had a lot of support inside Rome and, a year later, he managed to return triumphant. Rome recovered its greatest exponent of lust and, now, of revenge. He excommunicated Leo VIII and cut off the hands, ears and noses of those attending the synod. Unfortunately for him, in 964 he made a mistake:he slept with a married woman. And yes, this time he also resorted to the threat of excommunication if she did not comply. When the pope was sinning against the sixth commandment, his husband came in. He, without taking into account who was desecrating the altar of her wishes, began to beat him up. Such was the beating that John XII died three days later from the injuries he sustained. They say that he is still wandering in Purgatory and that he has set up a massage parlor.
3.- Benedict IX, named Theophylact, was named pope in 1032 at the age of 14. He was a birthday present from his father, the powerful Count Alberic III. Engaged in earthly power struggles, he excommunicated left and right at the convenience of his allies, until in 1044 one of the rival factions succeeded in driving him out of Rome and made Sylvester III pope. A year later, Benedict returned to the charge and recovered the throne of San Pedro. Even so, Benedict continued to have more attachment to material values than to spiritual ones, and only a month later he resigned from office in favor of Archpriest Juan Graciano (Gregory VI). Although he dressed as a waiver, it was really a sale:Graciano promised to pay Benedicto for his new lifestyle accompanied by a beautiful woman with whom he even talked about marrying.
Leaving the coffers of the Church half empty, Benedict retired to enjoy life. But he lacked something:power, the opium of the mediocre. So, he accused Gregory VI of not giving him all the agreed-upon money, he proclaimed himself pope and now we have the fuss again. Henry III of Germany had no choice but to intervene to bring order. He reset the system and they were both deposed. Clement II was appointed, but sadly his quick death encouraged Benedict to take Rome and he was reappointed pope in 1047 for the third time. A year later, and after being accused of simony, he was excommunicated and it is said, and I say it is said, that he retired to the abbey of Maria di Grottaferrata where he spent the rest of his days asking forgiveness for the multiple sins of him.
4.- Given the interference of power between popes and kings/emperors and the different wars that devastated the Italian peninsula, in 1309 Clement V took refuge under the protection of the French king and transferred the papal court to Avignon, where he remained for almost 70 years and covered the pontificate of 7 Popes (Clement V, John XXII, Benedict XII, Clement VI, Innocent VI, Urban V and Gregory XI). In the words of the poet and humanist Francesco Petrarca…
Avignon is the shame of humanity, a pit of vices, a sewer where all the dirt in the world is found. There God is despised, only money is venerated, and the law of God and that of men is trampled on. Everything there breathes lies:the air, the land, the houses and, above all, the papal bedrooms. […] They worshiped Venus and Bacchus more than Jesus Christ.
5.- In 1378, the French cardinals who did not agree with the election of Urban VI, met in Agnani and proclaimed Clement VII pope, antipope in this case, Rober for friends and the butcher of Cesena for the story.
As Robert was not the eldest son of the Count of Geneva, he directed his steps towards the spiritual world, in which he had a meteoric career:at 19 years old Bishop and at 29 Cardinal of Genoa. He moved to Rome and acted as papal legate to Gregory XI. In 1377, the city of Cesena was reluctant to follow the Lord's designs - he wanted to separate himself from the Papal States - and the Pope sent Robert with a group of mercenaries to talk. The inhabitants of Cesena, knowing the intentions of that army, closed the gates and made themselves strong behind the walls. Robert knew that he did not have enough men or the necessary siege weapons to force his way in. So, he used his papal legate status, a man of God, and managed to convince them to open up and hear his claims. Once inside, he ordered the doors closed behind him… the massacre began. For three days and three nights, the mercenaries were fully employed:burning buildings, looting and more than four thousand dead civilians. And here Robert more than earned his nickname:the Butcher of Cesena.
6.- Baltassare Cossa was a pirate, one of those who raided ships, born on the island of the Tyrrhenian to a noble family in decline. At first he opted for a military career, but that was very dangerous and the benefits were scarce. So, taking advantage of the knowledge acquired from him, he joined his two older brothers in the practice of the noble art of piracy that brought them rich profits. They took a small fleet and for a time they were sailing the Tyrrhenian and raiding left and right. Things took a turn for the worse when his brothers were captured and sentenced to death on charges of piracy. Baltassare decided not to continue tempting fate and left the sea to seek, once on dry land, a job according to his characteristics:he enrolled at the Law University of Bologna. Still, he thought he was destined for greater achievements. Using the money obtained from piracy and contacts with the city's underworld to intimidate his rivals, he managed to get Bonifacio IX to make him a cardinal in 1402. And if you know how to move in those gloomy and sinister environments, you also know how to do it among capelos . He took advantage of the Western Schism, also known as the Avignon Schism, when the popes of Rome and Avignon disputed the authority of the Church, and positioned himself. In 1410 he was named pope as John XXIII (antipope).
7.- In the year 1492 the Iberian Peninsula was on everyone's lips:discovery of America, expulsion of the Jews, conquest of the kingdom of Granada... and the appointment of Rodrigo de Borja as Pope Alexander VI. The Borja family, or Borgia as they were called in Italy, arrived in the Papal States at the hands of Alfonso de Borja, the future Calixtus III. This one was in charge of naming his nephew Rodrigo cardinal and of facilitating contacts between the Roman Curia to gain a share of power. It is also true that Rodrigo knew how to move very well in the mud. In the conclave of 1492, in which he was elected Pope, he had two very powerful Italian rivals:the della Roveres and the Sforzas of Milan. This is where he began to stand out as a great investor, because one by one he bought the cardinals or traded with his daughter Lucrecia, until he got the necessary number of votes. Nothing new in a conclave, but all very calculated. His first decisions were to deliver his daughter Lucrecia to Giovanni Sforza -what is promised is a debt- and appoint his son Caesar as cardinal. Unlike other Popes, who also had children and lovers, Alexander VI lived with his mistress Vannozza Cattanei and the four children he gave her:Juan, César, Lucrecia and Jofre. He said the investor, because as soon as he took office he began to recover everything invested with interest. It is said that in Rome a food complex called cantarella began to be used too often. (an odourless, colorless and tasteless poison that appeared as a white sugar-like powder and caused death within 24 hours). Be that as it may, the fact is that the territories controlled by the Pontiff were expanding and even the King of France, always ready to intervene and even more so when it came to a Spanish pope, had to leave Italy with his tail between his legs.
8.- The Sistine Chapel was built between 1471 and 1483 by order of Pope Sixtus IV, to whom it owes its name. It was the result of rehabilitating and expanding the Capilla Magna, an old fortified medieval hall where the meetings of the papal court took place and, from then on, it would become the venue for the election of each pope in the conclave of the College of Cardinals. And since Sixtus IV was one of those who thought that history would judge him by his works -of art, not by his way of acting-, he commissioned the frescoes in the chapel from the most famous Florentine painters:Sandro Botticelli, Domenico Ghirlandaio, Cosimo Rosselli, Pietro Perugino… In 1483 the chapel was inaugurated with a ceremony in which it was consecrated and dedicated to the Virgin Mary.
Catholic tradition places Saint Peter's Basilica on the tomb of the first Bishop of Rome, Saint Peter. The construction of the current building, on a fourth-century basilica at the time of Emperor Constantine the Great, began in 1506 by order of Pope Julius II, Sixtus IV's nephew, and ended in 1626. Julius II's credit must also be add the fact that he ordered the great Michelangelo to decorate the vault of the Sistine Chapel. Although he was reluctant at first, he accepted the commission when he got creative freedom from the pope.
Very difficult to quantify the enormous cost of these two emblematic constructions, but nothing was going to stop the airs of greatness of uncle and nephew when it came to seeking financing. Sixtus was ahead of his time, since he legalized -if we understand by legalizing imposing a tax- prostitution in Rome. All prostitutes had to pay a tribute to exercise their profession and, seeing that this brought huge benefits, he decided to extend that tax to all members of the clergy who maintained barraganas -it should be noted that the Pope was exempt from paying it- and to members of the nobility who wanted free access to the bed of some young maiden. But there was still his masterpiece:the sale of indulgences. According to the RAE, indulgences are the remission before God of the temporary penalty corresponding to sins already forgiven, which is obtained through the mediation of the Church; in the words of Sixtus IV…
Those who died in the light of Christ's charity can be helped by the prayers of the living. And not only that. If alms are given for the needs of the Church, souls will gain God's indulgence.
It became a real market in which the pope obtained financing and the buyers the forgiveness of his sins. But Sixto went a little further, he could also make a cut with the dead. To date, the beneficiaries of the indulgences were the living, but now the living could buy a ticket on a luxury cruise so that their deceased could leave the terrifying purgatory, where sorrows were redeemed, and reach the heavenly paradise. Another advantage of this market, unlike previous popes who sold relics more false than Judas or obtained from looting tombs of saints, was that by not giving anything in return it was an inexhaustible product. A legion of priests toured cities and towns selling smoke that the fearful of God bought for the benefit of their deceased.
Julius II, the Warrior Pope, could be considered a monarch more than a leader of the Church. He liked to wear the armor and drink with his soldiers; he fought against the Borgias and their allies, against Venice and against the French. These wars involved precious booty, much of which would go to finance architectural works and hire the best artists of the time. In addition, and following in the footsteps of his uncle, he also obtained significant income from prostitution, but adding another source:his own brothel. And it even seems that Julio was the one who did the castings to hire the professionals. He was the first pope to contract syphilis. In 1508, on Good Friday, it was not allowed to kiss the Pope's feet due to the ulcerations that covered them, typical of Gallic morbidity or French disease.
9.- With the support of his father, the almighty Lorenzo de' Medici, in 1513 Giovanni Lorenzo de' Medici was appointed Pope as Leo X. Through the streets of Rome this saying was heard that perfectly sums up what has been suffered in the past and the hope of the people on the new pope:
The hour of Venus has passed; Mars is gone too, and now it's Minerva's time.
Where Venus (the goddess of love) would represent the time of Alexander VI, Mars (god of war) the papacy of Julius II and Minerva (goddess of wisdom and the arts) the hope in Leo X. But his own words indicated that his pontificate would take other courses:
Since God has given us the papacy, let's enjoy it
Like the rest of his family, he encouraged the patronage of the arts:music, theater, poetry, painting... For this reason, he liked to surround himself with and hire the best artists of the time. He also cultivated other less artistic but equally pleasurable arts such as good eating, better drinking and indiscriminate fucking. The problem is that maintaining all this artistic infrastructure and that way of life involved brutal expenses...
Leo X had consumed three pontificates, the treasure of Julius II, the income of his own reign, and those of his successor.
Illustrations:Alberto Montt